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Beginner & Intermediate French Courses
The only French you've spoken in your life was when you were 8 years old singing Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi. You still say Ooh là là when you're impressed, but haven't learned that most French people say it when they're annoyed. And you didn't know that hors-d'œuvres was a French word (or spelled like that). Your name might as well be Emily, cuz every time you go to Paris, your French is as basic as that beret you bought in the metro for €5.
You can understand French when someone speaks at 0.01 mph, which is approximately...no one in France. You've studied French, so when you're in Paris, your friends expect you to understand even the most muffled metro announcement (and you can't). If someone asks you to order at a restaurant, your voice still gets soft and shy so the server knows you've studied French enough to be respectful but not long enough to come at you speaking like zjsuzjsüzjszhjzsé after all you said was, "Je prends un verre de vin, s'il vous plaît."
Your New Year's Resolution has been to learn French for the past four years and you're just now realizing there's nothing new about that. You've finally realized your book isn't teaching you to have a personality in French, and you're now ready to invest the time and money to bypass the headaches and all that other noise and commit to learning French with Damon D.
Beginner & Intermediate Spanish Courses
Puedo ir al baño is all you can remember from high school Spanish, and that’s great, because it’s probably the most useful phrase anyway. You secretly miss putting upside down ¿ all over the place, writing haha as jaja, and being referred to as your Spanish name which was probably Carmen or Diego. From one gringo to another, por favor, let me help you with that Spanish.
You can understand bits and pieces of a Rosalia song, but you also realize not even native Spanish speakers can understand her. Your trilled R no longer sounds like a croaking frog. You're still a gringo, but a respected one at the very least.
When Miami made their airport code MIA, they were referring to your Spanish. You've finally realized it's not cute to say you took Spanish for so long, but can't really say anything of value. You're now ready to invest the time and money to bypass the headaches and all that other noise and commit to Spanish with Damon D.
