The only French you've spoken in your life was when you were 8 years old singing Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi. You still say Ooh là là when you're impressed, but haven't learned that most French people say it when they're annoyed. And you didn't know that hors-d'œuvres was a French word (or spelled like that). Your name might as well be Emily, cuz every time you go to Paris, your French is as basic as that beret you bought in the metro for €5.


French for Beginners | The French I Wish I Had Learned

14 Hours of 110+ Instructional Videos


Expressions that French people really use

Modern French class example with screen recordings

Useful French expressions to know

170+ Pages of Study Notes


The basics of French

How to compare things in French

Dans vs En

17 Homework PDFs, 19 Quizzes, & Extra Credit


French pronunciation for Beginners

Homework Corrections

Paris metro map

Online French quiz

Online French test

Unsure of your level? Take the free test.

Online French quiz

Online French test

What you'll learn

  Bienvenue to the French Language
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  Greetings: Never forget to say Bonjour
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  ER Verbs: You're gonna have to take these Frenchies to the ER cuz your French is about to be sick
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  Longer Sentences: Speak like a real human
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  Negation: The French art of saying non
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  Questions: The answer will still be non
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  You: Letting people know the who, where, and what
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  Gender: She's here to stay
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  Pronunciation & Alphabet: Lots of letters, and none are pronounced (but at least it looks pretty)
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  Numbers 0-1000: 70 is where life gets fun
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  Time, Days of the Week, & Months: It's all a construct anyway
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  Possession: Taking what's yours
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  Annoyingly necessary irregular verbs you must master
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  In, at, on & Geography: Cuz you can't be in if you can't figure it out
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  This, That, and the other: it's like this and like that and like this and uh...
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  IR Verbs: The IRritation begins
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  RE Verbs: Prepare for a shit show. They're REdiculous and pREblematic.
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  Comparatives & Superlatives : Doing the Most 101
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  Direct Objects: Getting directly to it
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  Qui, Que, & all your questions
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  The end of the beginning (of Level One)
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Pricing

I bought both courses in order to really get down to the basics again. It was so much more fun to learn on your own, when you have a professor like you with a personal touch - the homework, songs, your stories etc made it a lot more enjoyable and I’ve never learned French this way. It’s really a good combo and made me so motivated to learn more. I was looking forward every time! I am taking a french test this summer in order to study in Paris so this was much needed. Merci, Damon.
@whoisannesofie


Never thought learning French can be this fun! Definitely got more than what I've paid for from the full bundle course, learning not just French but also how to use it in real life situations, without losing your personality. Just go for it, vous ne regretterez pas! - @donaaeu


Oui j’ai fini le cours ! It was so much fun and easy to pick up! I’m actually retaking the lessons again :) @nanala.alicia

How did this French course develop?

I've argued with Parisian servers when they tell me "c'est pas possible" to substitute broccoli for french fries - when they're both on the menu. I've flirted with "straight" guys in raves in the Parisian suburbs near Charles de Gaulle airport. I've even bought all the dusty grammar books you've probably considered buying and spent all the hours searching for one, just one that was down-to-earth, witty, and funny, and that called French out where it was doin' the most.

Like - how can I get my point across on the phone with the building repairman, ask the French postal service where the hell my package is, and communicate with the uninterested metro staff about my ticket that doesn't work - but still sound like me?

That's the course I wanted - and here it is.




How is this course set up?

Upon purchase, you'll have access to a video database. Each chapter contains Study Notes, guided videos, funny examples from my life in Paris, interesting homework prompts to put the language in your words, explanations of famous French cultural staples, quizzes that you put in real-life scenarios, and extra credit links. You will also get access to my list of the best books, sites, novels, films, and podcasts to learn even more French, as well as my own French Spotify playlist.

So yes - you'll get the academic side, where I walk you through all the strategies and shortcuts my English-speaking brain took to memorize and navigate its way through the French language.

And you'll also get the fun side, where I'll walk you through the real messages I got last week on Tinder, the lyrics to hit French songs that make even the most boring French person run to the dancefloor yelling OUAISSS, and what René Descartes meant when he said Je pense, donc je suis (I think therefore I am).




Who are you?

I'm not a native French speaker. I'm like you (and that's the point). My French was non-existent for the first 19 years of my life and I had all the same "dumb" questions and confusing "seriously-French-what-the-fuck" moments you'll experience.

You'll be like, why do we have to decide between Tu and Vous - why can't we just use one word for you? And I'll explain how that's great and all but English used to be set up this way too with thou. A French native might not get why you keep messing up on J'attends pour le bus (I'm waiting *for the bus), when it's J'attends le bus (I'm waiting the bus) - but I gotchu cuz I know you're directly translating from English. Basically, I know the questions you'll have before you'll probably even have them.

After my study abroad year in Paris, my 6 years with my French ex, 2 years teaching French at a language school in Brooklyn, 5+ years making YouTube videos in French and about the French culture, and all these years living in Paris, I now speak fluent French and have a tight grasp on the French culture. Long story short: I get you, and I get French.

We can't escape our native language - so let's use it to our advantage.




What if I've never learned a language before?

I designed this course to go slow enough in parts that I was confused by, but not too slow that you end up watching the entire series on 2x speed. We spend more time on concepts that don't exist in English - like why you still use qui for inanimate objects, why better and best work differently in French, and how saying something is his or hers doesn't exist in French, but rather that it depends on the gender of the thing you're possessing, for example.




What if I've already learned another language?

I also draw connections to concepts that are similar in Spanish and Portuguese - so that you know where to speed up and slow down. There are parts where French is doing its own thing in its own lane (numbers 70-100, the order of direct objects, etc.), and then there are other parts that you will be able to easily pick up (days of the week, savoir vs connaître, etc.). Anyway, I point these out.




When does the course start and finish?

Upon purchasing, you will have immediate access to the database of videos. This course goes in a specific order, and I refer back to previous videos - but you can skip around if you really want to. Upon finishing the course, you can revisit the videos as often (or as little) as you'd like. The videos do not expire.




Do you have an Affiliate Program?

Yes. You must have at least 10,000 followers (on any social media platform), or if you are a reporter, writer, etc. please also get in touch at [email protected]

If you are a teacher or school and would like to recommend or license the content, please also get in touch and we can work something out.

All affiliates will have to fill out a US W-9 tax form, as Teachable handles the cuts and payments.




Can I get a refund?

If you are unhappy, you can get a refund up to 30 days after purchase.




Do you have video examples?

I've made many, many free French videos on my YouTube channel - the comments from which prompted me to make this very course.

Pricing